Start family worship in your home

Ever since I listened to this sermon by Dr. Joel Beeke, my perspective on family worship was changed. He made me realize it’s not optional, it’s not useless, and denying it will cost you greatly down the road. I saw him at The Gospel Coalition Conference last April and thanked him for the impact he had on my life and family.

This short article from Donald Whitney helps us keep it simple.

If you haven’t started family worship in your home, start today. You’ll find that it is:

Fun. We like to sing in the Durso house. Every night I’m home for dinner (every night except Sundays and Wednesdays) I pull out my guitar after the meal and we sing a few songs. Emma gets on her stage (the couch) and dances like crazy. It’s hilarious. We have a lot of fun.

We want to instill in our kids that it’s a joy to be a Christian. We want to enjoy God, each other, and the gifts of grace he’s given us.

Ashley's blog tells of some of the ways we try to make a joyful home

Fulfilling. I do a lot of things in ministry– and I enjoy all the things I’m involved in. But family worship is probably the most enjoyable, fulfilling times of my week. I hate when I have to miss it.

Humbling. Right now, Emma could care less about which book we read for family devotions. For all she cares, we could read a story about Big Bird. So every time we try to sit down and read, I have to come to grips that someday this effort to teach her about the Lord will pay off. Results aren’t immediate.When I’m reading about Noah and the ark, and she’s pointing at the TV and saying, “Melmo, Melmo!” I have to patiently remember that this time is an investment for the future. And it’s humbling.

Profitable. For you, your wife, and your kids. It builds unity and trust. It puts us all on the same page. When we acknowledge the greatness of God and his purposes, our problems and disagreements tend to get smaller. We reaffirm our common goals, lay aside our personal agendas, and remember the point of our existence.

If you’re a dad, you’re the leader of your household. You need to bring home the bread– especially the Bread of Life.

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Dating Ashley 2012: some traditions

I am a big fan of family traditions. They seem to bridge the past with the present and help us remember the faithfulness of God for the future.

Here’s a few things we’ve been doing since we’ve been married. They help us remember the past, plan for the future, and be thankful for the present.

Around our anniversary (June 20th) we plan a night out without the kid(s). In our first year of marriage we bought a nice anniversary journal that we only pull out twice a year (anniversary and in the New Year).  In it, we record three things:

1)     Major events of the previous year of marriage. Basically, all the things that stood out. We include vacations, celebrations, life-changes, etc.

2)     A specific commitment to each other. The anniversary is a great time to talk about our marriage and be honest about our strengths and weaknesses. After an honest conversation, we write down what we want to be better at (with the Lord’s help) in our next year of marriage. We sign it.

3)     Predictions for the next year. This is purely for fun. We go back and forth, making predictions. Sometimes they’re related to family (e.g. Ashley will be pregnant by August) and sometimes they’re kinda silly (e.g. The Lakers are going to win the NBA finals). We always get a laugh out of these when we go back and look at them.

Another special date is around the New Year. It works out perfectly for us, because the New Year is the exact halfway point of our marriage year. Six months after our anniversary we get to think through our marriage and family again. We don’t go to the movies because we want to be able to talk. We make sure it’s just the two of us, so we get someone to watch Emma.

On this special date, we start by talking about the previous year. We look at the journal, the commitments we made to each other, the predictions, and the major events.

1)     We look at the anniversary journal. We look at the commitments we made on our anniversary, the predictions we thought of, and the major events.

2)     We make a top-ten event list. We get out our calendars (Ashley keeps a calendar book containing most of the year’s events) and try to remember all the big events. We always have a fun time remembering; there are always events that we had forgotten that make us laugh. Instead of writing down all the main events, we pick the top ten events and write them down. We also pull out the top ten lists from previous years. It’s fun to see the top ten events of years past—some of which are nearly forgotten or seem so insignificant.

3)     We talk about the future. After thinking about the past for a while, we start to think about the future. I try to get us thinking about potential vacations, life changes, spiritual goals, marriage commitments, parental goals, etc. We together try to imagine what the year will look like. We talk about the things we’d like to do, whether it be ministry, dates, trips, achievements, or education. We consider finances (briefly—finance talks aren’t always the most fun), what purchases we might consider making, what we’d like to save for, and where most of our money is going to go.

We’ve found these things to be good for our marriage, especially helping us maintain a sense of unity, closeness, openness, companionship, and joy. It helps us communicate and plan. It also brings us the great blessing of remember God’s providence in the past and his promise for the future. The anniversary journal is for us an Ebenezer, a fixed stone of remembrance testifying to the great mercy of our God.

Husbands, I encourage you to date your wife. Be proactive and creative. Show your children how much you treasure her. Share, as much as possible, in the grace of life together. When you share together the joys and burdens of marriage, you will find, as Ashley and I have, that the old axiom is true: your joys are doubled and burdens halved.

 

 

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Top Books of 2011

I think I did as much (or more) reading in 2011 than previous years, but most of it was seminary reading, where I had to read particular sections, articles, and individual chapters, and rarely entire books. So, the year concludes, and I’ve finished only 22 books, lowest in since 2008.

Here are my five faves for 2011:

1. The Bible

I read the Bible more this year than I ever have, and with each reading I am more convinced of its divine origin. The best apologetic of the Bible is the Bible itself. Take it up, skeptic, and read.

2. Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands, Paul David Tripp

I enjoy Paul David Tripp. He’s easy to read, deeply theological, and intensely practical. I rarely walk away from one of his books without desiring to change something in my life. This book is a great resource for laypeople wondering how they can have an effective ministry in church life.

3. Humility, C.J. Mahaney

I picked this book up after Tom Pennington spoke at The Shepherd’s Conference and began reading it immediately. Pennington crushed me, preaching from 1 Peter 5, and sent me seeking help in the book store. Mahaney’s book is accessible; and comes highly recommended to readers of all levels.

4. The Pastor as Scholar and the Scholar as Pastor: Reflections on Life and Ministry, John Piper and D.A. Carson

I read this book in two sittings. It captivated me, and might have been my favorite read of the year. Through it, I’ve been (re) inspired to be a lifelong learner, ever developing and increasing my understanding of Scripture and the ministry I’m called to.

It’s also helped me discover one of my passions in pastoral ministry, namely, training young men for the work of the ministry. It is a dream of mine to develop a system that trains young people to use their gifts in the service of the church.

5. The Next Story, Tim Challies

Challies’ book on how technology affects us is helpful. I especially benefited from the section that gives parents advice for raising kids in the digital age. If you’re trying to find a balanced look at the usefulness and potential distraction of our devices, pick up this book.

* * *

Oh, and if you’re into that sort of thing, friend me on goodreads.

 

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Emma reading “The Hobbit”

Emma is so excited about the new Hobbit movie that she decided to pull the book out and give it a quick read-through.

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Right now

Christian, you have everything you need, right now. Any more would be too much. Any less would be too little. In the perfect plan of God, what you have this moment is perfect.

 

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Marvin Olasky interviews N.D. Wilson

Video streaming by Ustream

Started watching this interview, and was immediately hooked. Ended up watching the whole thing. It’s long, but if you like books, writing, C.S. Lewis, and things of the sort, you’re in for a treat.

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Are we sleepwalking through the great infanticide?

This article, by Harvard Law graduate Lea Singh, echoes much of my sentiment about abortion:

Is it just me, or is there something sickly schizophrenic about a society that huffs and puffs in outrage at the killing of a baby in the light of day, but quietly supports it when it happens in the darkness of the womb? We are talking about the very same baby here, at the exact same moment of gestation, the only difference being the location of the demise. If we can kill a baby within the womb, why not outside of the womb? Viable babies are being put to death in late-term abortion clinics all over the United States, perhaps some in Canada. We call it “abortion” but in the light of day, these actions clearly are “murder”.

The abortion pandemic proves that the “Enlightenment” perhaps wasn’t so enlightening after all; that the modern experiment is a sham; and that despite the innumerable scientific developments and technological advances, human beings are still not much different than our racist white-American ancestors; brute beasts, tainted by sin, depraved of mind, and in desperate need of a Savior.

 

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A few of Mark Dever’s overview sermons

While verse-by-verse, word-by-word, close examination of phrases and clauses and parsing and syntax is important, it’s also important to step back and look at the great themes of redemptive history. It’s good to back up from verse-by-verse exposition and see the epic story from the bird’s eye.

I think people need their pastors to make sure their people see the grand schema. It is something that must be done, but is difficult to do well.

Here are a few overview sermons from Mark Dever where he steps back to look at the big picture. They are good model for macro exposition. Give them a listen if you have time.

Promises Made– The Message of the Old Testament

Promises Kept– The Message of the New Testament

What Does God Want of Us– The Message of the Bible

 

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Pillars of Grace– a premature review

I am not finished with the book, but per my desire to become a book reviewer, and my promise to start somewhere, here’s my review of Pillars of Grace: A Long Line of Godly Men, by Steven Lawson.

I started by reviewing chapter one, which you can read here if you want to.

Chapters 2-13

After an introductory chapter, the book focuses in on individual Christian stalwarts. They are arranged chronologically. I am now on chapter 14, and I’ve read of Clement of Rome, Ignatius, Justin Martyr, Irenaeus, Tertullian, Cyprian, Athanasius, Basil of Caesarea, Gregory of Nazianzus, Ambrose, Augustine, and Isidore of Seville.

Mini-Biography

Each chapter is arranged essentially the same way. It begins by setting the stage. Lawson writes of the main dilemmas Christians were facing, whether it’s government decreed persecution, discredit from the world of philosophy, or heresy. Once he establishes the scene, the hero takes center stage. What follows is a short biography: where he grew up, what influenced him, what he wrote, why he wrote, and what became of him. I found these sections to be the most interesting.

I also found that the chapters later in the book have gotten better. This is partially because the cumulative testimony of these witnesses to the doctrines of grace is so strong. Each chapter is like a brick being laid, and the total effect is a beautiful building.

The later chapters are better also because the farther we go through church history, the more biographical information we have. For example, the extant writings of 1st century Clement are infinitesimal compared to the voluminous writings of 4th-5th century Augustine. The more material, the better the biography and the greater understanding of who they were and what they taught.

Major Works

After introducing you to the character, he briefly describes his most popular writings. In the chapter on Justin Martyr, he mentioned his Apologies, who they were written to and what they were about. The chapter on Irenaeus discussed the importance of his Against Heresies, what it was, why he wrote it, and what effect it had.

Because of Augustine’s incredible output of literature (242 books), Lawson focuses on the most popular ones (Confessions, The City of God, etc). For Isidore, who also wrote extensively, he makes sections (Biblical and Theological works, Dogmatic and Apologetic works, etc) and highlights the most important writings in each. These sections, combined with the comprehensive citations at the end of each chapter make for a great reference.

Doctrines of Grace in Focus

The chapter then turns to focus on their doctrine. He looks at them through five or six doctrinal categories, each category having its own section: divine sovereignty, radical depravity, sovereign election, definite atonement, irresistible call, and divine reprobation. Lawson goes through each doctrine and shows what the father believed about it by citing original sources.

A few comments about this section. First, it tends to be dryer than the rest. It mostly consists of original source citation (which is helpful) and Lawson’s summarizing comments. Second, in some cases it seems difficult to truly understand whether the churchman in question was actually articulating the specific doctrine. In most cases, Lawson is right on by nailing down the father’s stance on an issue. In other cases, the father’s writings simply don’t offer enough information on the subject, and the few quotes offered aren’t very convincing. This is a small quibble, however, because it doesn’t happen often, and when it does, Lawson is quick to admit that the writings are blurry.

On the more positive side, Lawson makes it clear early on that these men are by no means infallible. In many cases, he critiques their view, shows how it contradicts Scripture, and offers an opinion as to what influences caused them to take that view. Lawson doesn’t make the Catholic mistake of unwittingly buying everything the fathers said.

Conclusive Exhortation

After the doctrinal focus, Lawson ends with an exhortation for his readers. This section is short and pointed. He summarizes the life of the father and shows how it applies to people today– men need to rise up and proclaim strong theology, live with conviction, and do all for the glory of God while they have breath.

Conclusions

This book might be difficult to read lengthy portions in one sitting because it doesn’t tell a single cohesive story. It’s like reading a compilation of short stories– they’re not much related. In many instances, it reads like a series of lectures, which, according to the preface, it was– Lawson put together this material to teach the men of his church (I find this fascinating) and ended up editing it and publishing it as a book. This means that there are many repeated statements throughout (I have no problem with that, I need to hear something again and again for it to stick). With that being said, it doesn’t feel academic. Lawson is a preacher, and you won’t finish a chapter without being exhorted to faithfulness.

A great way to approach this work would be to read it devotionally. Since the chapters are around 10 pages each (except for a few longer ones, like Augustine’s and Luther’s), I think it would be a great exercise to read a chapter each morning, perhaps after your Bible reading and prayers. I continually find my soul soaring to great heights after reading reading of these men and the truths they proclaimed.

Through reading this book, I am convinced more than ever that pastors need to be familiar with church history. What we can learn by reading the pages of the centuries is far more important than what we can learn by reading the latest issue of Relevant Magazine.

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Be done with big, juicy hamburgers: A tip for writers

Dr. Simons, my advisor in college and my favorite teacher, one of the big influences on my adult life, used to always remind me of a simple rule for better writing. Here it is:

Stay away from “big, juicy hamburgers.”

How is that a writing tip? Here’s what he meant: show, don’t tell. Show me a big, juicy hamburger, don’t tell me the hamburger was big and juicy.

Big and juicy are abstract words that mean different things to different people. They are not effective in producing an image in the mind of the reader. They lack gumption.

Instead of saying, “he ate a big, juicy hamburger,” say, “he opened his mouth wide to bite into the burger, and when he did, a flavor gushed into his mouth and ketchup dripped onto his shirt. He needed a napkin immediately.” Create an image. Let the reader figure out that it’s a big, juicy burger.

Writing too overwhelmed with adjectives is tiring. Always aim for specific, definite, and concrete. But don’t take my words for it, consider Mark Twain’s words, one of the finest writers in the English language:

You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God’s adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much; the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.

If you want captivating writing, stop telling me about roses; show me a rose. Stop describing what they’re like; show me a petal. Don’t give me a big, juicy hamburger; let its taste burst into my mouth as I bite.

Mark Twain, again:

I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English–it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don’t let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in. When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don’t mean utterly, but kill most of them–then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are wide apart. An adjective habit, or a wordy, diffuse, flowery habit, once fastened upon a person, is as hard to get rid of as any other vice.

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